October 12, 2004

Watch Team America, get a free sweatband

If there's any reason you should see Team America, a marionette movie premiering this Friday, make it for it's pivotal scene:

There are only three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Dicks fuck pussies who think they can control them. But that doesn't mean assholes are safe from dicks, dicks fuck assholes, too. In fact, pussies are a lot like assholes, they're only and inch and a half apart. But dicks and pussies have to be careful, because if they aren't then they'll both be covered in shit.

I don't care much for racism, classism, sexism, nationalism, etc ... except when it's equal opportunity bashing, like Strangers With Candy or this very movie. Then again, the song where the actor "Gives everyone AIDS" is so shocking, it's funny. Sad, isn't it?

Or something like that. It's more touching on the big screen ... um, like the fucking scene. Scary. Or the barfing scene. Scary. Or the plastic surgery fiasco. Scary.

And if you can, wait through the credits to hear a bonus song by our favorite Korean dictator.

So tell me this: What action movies has Helen Hunt done?

UPDATE: Here's the sweat band they gave away at the movie. Want one? Email me at atticuswest@yahoo.com. I'll pick a lucky winner and you can have your very own, complete with it's own plastic ziplock baggy.


Blogger « groeg » said...

that last part of the other comment was *actually* supposed to go here but my brain fell out this morning, slipped out through the pet-door and was last seen boarding a plane to Cabo disquised as a jello-mold... so by now he's probably sipping a margarita on the beach without me.

cagey fucker

1:51 PM  

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