October 10, 2004

Shoplifter

Getting arrested for shoplifting wasn't my plan for the day, or any day for that matter.

My friends were crafty for my birthday this year and bought me CDs from my Amazon wish list. Most of them didn't buy them online, but rather from Target and Best Buy.

Fast as I was to update the list, I still received two of the same CDs. Fortunately there was gift receipt attached to the duplicate. The return policy was clearly printed out on the front for my convenience. I taped the receipt to the top so I wouldn't lose it and waited for a new CD to catch my eye, one worth trading in the unused and unopened disc I kept on my desk.

Today I planned a trip to Best Buy, I grabbed the CD and drove into the next town to return it. I followed in a guy caring a car radio in box, stepped inside, and headed towards Customer Service. I planned to leave the CD there and look for a replacement like any other store would have you do.

Half and hour later, my patience for the unmoving line burst. When I was finally helped, the woman informed me I couldn't return the CD because I didn't come within 30 days of the purchase. (Note: the incomplete return policy did not include that handy piece of information on the front. On the back was the same policy with the 30 day stipulation. Bastards.) Furious and defeated I headed out towards the door. That's when it happened.

Doorman: Excuse me. Can I see your receipt?
Me: Oh, sure.
Doorman: Why didn't you stop when you came in?
Me: Huh?
Doorman: Where's the tag?
Me: What tag?
Doorman: How do I know you didn't take this from the store and bring in an old receipt?
Me: What? I came here to return a CD. I got two for my birthday but the woman at the counter said I couldn't.
Doorman: Oh really. And what did this "woman" look like.
Me: *perturbed* She's the short girl over there *points to customer service* next the blonde girl with really bad roots, you can't see here because she's short and there's someone in front of her.
Doorman: Why didn't you get a yellow tag when you came in?
Me: What tag?
Doorman: WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP WHEN YOU CAME IN?
Me: WHERE?
Doorman: HERE!
Me: *biting my teeth* There wasn't anyone here.
Doorman: THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE HERE.
Me: THERE WASN'T WHEN I CAME IN.

I DON'T STEAL! At this point I was ready to deck the guy. I can't believe I let a fuck'n turd get me mad, he so wasn't worth it. Yet he fuck'n accused me of stealing a fuck'n CD I already had. FUCK'N IDIOT! It wasn't my fault he stepped away from his post for the minute out of 2004 when I walked into his Best Buy. Fuckwad.

I got over it a few minutes later by cussing loudly, breathing deeply, a three hour gym routine, and watching The Prince & Me on DVD – something I swore never to watch. Oh, I rented with my own money you Best Buy fuck.

1 Comments:

Blogger « groeg » said...

1) shoplifters don't usually carry items out in the open.

2) if you're going to pull that stunt, why the fuck would you do it to such a small ticket item? Go for the TVs!

3) a cd pulled from the rack usually has the big-ass fucking plastic holder still attached.

7:07 PM  

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