October 09, 2004

Electrolysis is for Everyone

Saved message, Tuesday, 11:50am.

Your new voice mail is sexy, man. I'm sitt'n here ... touching myself. Actually I took a pain pill and I 'm a Stepford wife right now. Because I'm having hair removed -- electronic hair removal -- which is painful.

So I took pain pill left over from my testicular surgery and I'm having a little glass of wine.

It's a spa and I love everyone here.

I'm gonna look beautiful when I leave - I may get some Botox!

Anyway is MISS YOU and uh ... call me. Bye.

If my friends didn't leave the best messages I would never check my voicemail at all. So I entertain them in two ways during my greeting to continue their honestly brutal updates. First, I change my greeting only when I'm sick. That way my voice is always three octaves lower than normal and I can pull off a professional masculine demeanor. Ha! But then I start laughing during the recording process - it's an absurd idea that I have a booming voice. They tend to get off on the chuckling; weirdos - I love 'em.


Blogger jblend said...

Wow. You're something else, Mr. West: a charming writer, a thoughtful observer of pop culture and obviously self-deprecating enough to laugh at your own throatiness when your voice enters the lower register!

Try the blogger audio blog tools and get used to your voice by exposing yourself to the world. It's very centering/humbling. (:

8:38 AM  
Blogger « groeg » said...

I do the same thing! LOL! I should pick up VO work when I get sick. It's sexy!

Yes, yes... we DO leave charming messages, don't we?

6:48 PM  
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