Michael Phelps Spokesperson for Super Low-Rise Jeans

He's built like a fish — his shoe size is 14, which make his feet perfect flippers. His wing span is longer than his actual height of 6'4" which means it takes him less strokes to cover the same distance a normal person need. Finally, he has short legs for a tall guy so he carries less dead weight in the water. And have you seen that suit he wears? He's a natural spokesperson for super-extra-good-lord-that's-low rise jeans.

I applaud the dude for being the youngest Olympic contender since the '30s. He was 15 at the Sydney games and turned pro a year later. Had he won all eight gold medals (he won a bronze yesterday) he would earned an additional 1 million dollars from Speedo, his sponsor. Plus, he's hot so, like I'm paying attention.