June 28, 2004

Roller Derby's Comeback

She drops her elbow on the girl in front of her. They both go down — a teammate comes in from behind to stop the fight — and when the jabs start connecting, a dog pile of women in roller skates builds high into the area.

I thought the roller derby would be a lot like wrestling, the winner would be decided beforehand and the match would ultimately be about character building and theatrics. I was wrong. By then end of the first round, I see a broken nose. I see audience members receiving damage by rouge skaters flying out of the ring. I see two players twist their ankles. I see dozen's of falls, elbow drops, punches to ass. Yeah, that's right: punches to the ass. I even see a woman's skate connect to the head of her archrival. Oooo, that hurt! I even see blood.

Welcome to the Roller Derby, and all female league of angry, hostile and very independent women. The Arizona teams are: the Bruisers (in nurse's outfits or course), Furious Truck Stop Waitresses, Iron Curtain (Russian's in Tucson?), and Smash Squad with more teams coming. Other women's leagues have started in New York, Texas, Kansas, California, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Colorado and Wisconsin.

My favorite part is the penalty round where the player with the most errors has to spin the wheel of shame. Tonight, the unlucky woman's spin lands on Rosy Butt Boulevard! The audience is ordered to the center of the ring, the skater is escorted around it and everyone is given the chance to slap her ass as hard as possible. This is one fucked up sport, but I'm all about audience participation.


Blogger « groeg » said...

hmm.. do you thin that would work for guys, or do the skates kill it. What about rollerblades?

8:34 PM  
Blogger Atticus West said...

As long as they have skimpy uniforms, yeah it could work. The skates are hot though. It makes them look taller.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Kandu said...

I really want to go to roller derby next season. In the meantime, I will have to make due with lacrosse. They don't have the audience participation, though.

12:58 PM  

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